Saturday, 1 October 2011

Gone to real life.

About six months ago X's best friends mum called me and told me that she thought I ought to know that my daughter was telling everyone  at school that the reason she hasn't got a daddy is because the police took him away. 

During the adoption process we are strongly advised to tell the truth and be open about biological parents so what I had told X was simply that we didn't know who her father is. That is the truth. But of course it's impossible to let a truth like that rest. So in her little head she rationalised what this meant to the fact that he had been taken away. 

X and I had a little chat about the fact that her daddy had not been taken to prison, in fact I was pretty sure he must be a very good person, as he had such a good little daughter. A little later she told me that she thought he had gone to another country, which I thought was a much better explanation. 

While riding a horse in the playground the other day she turned to the little girl next to her, who she didn't know, and said: 
"I've got no Daddy."
The other little girl looks puzzled, "did he leave?" 
"No, he's dead, " says X. 

A bit later I asked her if she knew what being dead meant. "Yes, Lola told me,"she said.  According to Lola from the childminders, aged five, it means:" gone to real life."  

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