BARBIE GOES GAGA

Taking a rasher out of the Gaga look-book Barbie is going to the social event of the season ( the daughter's half-birthday party) wearing clothes that might, at a stretch, be considered edible.

Rate the look- yummy or crummy? She's modelling the latest in sponge and icing by a designer called Morrisons - six Morrisons sponge cakes and enough icing to induce early onset diabetes, to be precise. It would certainly give Jamie Oliver a heart attack. From the e-numbers in the food colouring to the cream-cheese and butter, gaga may well turn out to be a verb not a name. Do not be fooled by the strawberries and blueberries, they're just there to confuse those parents who are pickily middle-class about food actually having actual nutritional value. The fact they were picked up from the Turkish shop on the High Street means that they're full of petrol fumes not vitamins. I cannot believe I now routinely shop in Morrisons and Iceland, where will this slide into turkey twizzler-dom end? I feel for Barbie. Primark or Top Shop is one thing but Morrisons- something else altogether. I always thought of myself as a Waitrose kind of gal.....

I thought X added a good Gaga touch to the ensemble: if you look closely you'll see Barbie's platform shoes stuck to the dress.

"RAAAAAAAA"

Her manner is aggressive: a little lion going "raaaaaaaa....." in the face of another frightened child in the swimming pool who then cried. This from the child who was too scared to go in the water earlier that day. This from the child who was to shy to talk to the teacher when she arrived at nursery and who now has more attitude than most sixteen year olds. Yet she still cannot even go to the loo on her own in case there is 'a bug' in there. I think she gets the aggression from me. I don't intend to talk to her in a violent way but when the day unravels and I'm tired from the week- maybe I do. I'm so used to dealing with adults maybe I forget to soften up and slow down for her.