Most middle aged women complain they are invisible. I wish! They should try living with the relentless observations of a 4 year old.

Your bottom is really big, remarks little one. That's the last time I bend over to pick up toys for you, I think. "You should put on suncream to stop the sun giving you lines," I tell her. "You should have been more careful yourself," she says, tenderly tracing a big fat line down my face. "Your boobies shouldn't be down there, should they?" she asks me in the bath. "Breasts," I correct.

Happy birthday to a mother older than many grandmothers. I'm hoping I'll feel a bit younger in time.