IT'S ALL BACK TO FRONT AND UPSY DAISY
X is insisting on trying to dress herself these days, which makes for some interesting Houdini moments. But it's not just clothes that seem to get a bit twisted around and back to front with me and X.
Take the naughty step: how come it's me that's ended up on it? Surely that's not the right way around? I'm still not exactly sure how it happened, but she was right- I had been doing what I told her not to.
To be fair I'd already been wondering whether the step was quite the deterrent I'd hoped when she started asking to go on it. Isn't that a bit Upsy Daisy? The step was a surprisingly pleasant place- looking at the flowers in the glass on the front door, the sun on the floorboards and a warm cuddle afterwards, but I'm not sure where it's left me in the long term discipline stakes. I'm pretty sure that the telly nanny would have a few stern words with me. The bullying at work seems to have beaten me down somewhat. I've the backbone of a worm these days, it seems.
When I get down about discipline my Ma sympathises. She says: 'When you lot were little I remember days that seemed to be nothing but 'no's". Mmmm- I have lots of those- but sadly it's not me saying the 'no's'.
As in, me: "put your shoes on"
And it's not just t- shirts that end up back to front. X is only just mastering basic vocabulary but she's already a master at turning the argument.
"Please," she shouts, having been lectured on manners.
"Please put your shoes on, " I repeat, duly chastised.
"No, thank you," she says.
"Don't say no to me," says I, quietly but firmly trying to ease myself into the authoritative top position.
"Can I have some chocolate?"
"Well, don't you say no to me!"
So it's back on the naughty step for me. It's supposed to be a minute for every year of your life, isn't it? Have I got that bit right, at least?
Cripes, 50 minutes.......